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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Teaser Tuesday again?

Wow, Tuesdays come fast...

This is the opening of the book I wrote right after Handcuffs. I rewrote it three times, and I'm doing a bit of looking over it, as a writing exercise (and because I love it).
The soft cotton lining of the protective gloves catches on my fingernails as I pull them slowly over my hands. I angle the pruning shears. Snip. The rose falls. I lean forward, pinch the thorny stem between my too-thick gloved fingers. The cotton snags against my left thumb nail, the one I gnaw the most, as I drop the red rose-bud into my mom’s wicker basket. There’s a rose-shaped indention on the almost-black soil. I smooth the earth with my foot. Potting soil and little bits of mulch are dusted from my ankle down to my toes. I push my hair back from my face and feel something sticky smear across my forehead.
Tomorrow is the first day of school, the first day of my senior year. I need to trim back the roses in this walled garden behind my father’s church. Once school starts I might not have so much time, they might get overgrown, wild. There isn’t much that I can do for my family, they’ll barely notice when I’m gone, but this garden, I’ve cared for it over the years. It provides fresh flowers for the sanctuary. We can all agree that flowers are nice, even though when I look at the roses I see stems and pistons and the glorious bright green of chlorophyll absorbing sunlight during photosynthesis. They see something different, a miracle, I guess.

11 Comments:

Blogger Karla Nellenbach said...

Wow...you have such a fluidity to your writing. I'm so interesting in knowing what's happening with her. Is she dying or depressed...thinking of ending her life. I feel like this is going to be a sad tale :(

July 13, 2010 at 8:44 AM  
Blogger Ellen said...

Gorgeous descriptions, I love the imagery! When the rose snags on her glove, I can really feel the sensation there :)

July 13, 2010 at 10:07 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

Lovely, great descriptions, especially the last line. I do a lot of gardening so this really hit a soft spot. Can't wait to read more. :)

July 13, 2010 at 10:13 AM  
Blogger Lia Victoria said...

This is really interesting - it's a piece with a lot of sensations, and your narrator here is so scientific and methodical. I like that a lot :]

July 13, 2010 at 10:54 AM  
Blogger Angelica R. Jackson said...

Love this last part: when I look at the roses I see stems and pistons and the glorious bright green of chlorophyll absorbing sunlight during photosynthesis. They see something different, a miracle, I guess.
Wow!

July 13, 2010 at 12:30 PM  
OpenID sagelikethespice said...

*snuggles Breathless*

July 13, 2010 at 1:32 PM  
Blogger Noelle said...

The description in this was wonderfully written! So vivid and soft! The description of her hands and her wicker basket really captured a gardener.

Good job!

~Noelle

July 13, 2010 at 5:59 PM  
Blogger Vee said...

The fluidity of the writing and the vivid description is awesome :)

July 14, 2010 at 2:41 AM  
Blogger Glen Akin said...

Written like a pro. Well, actually, you are a pro! Loved this!

July 14, 2010 at 4:14 PM  
Blogger Karla Calalang said...

The descriptions were beautiful in this. I'd love to read more! :)

July 15, 2010 at 12:35 AM  
Blogger Bri said...

The ending with the bit about seeing a miracle in a rose was so poignant. I can't even tell you how much it made me think. Gorgeous work.

July 17, 2010 at 12:19 PM  

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